The main problem with the internet is it has driven the proximal price of being a prick down to zero..
–Your Mother last night
Science hasn’t yet figured out how to solve obesity.
-USA Today 08/2022
A Hideous Hermaphroditical Character which has neither the Force and Firmness of a Man, Not the Gentleness and Sensibility of a Woman
-Written by Thomas Jefferson about John Adams who paid journalist James Thomson Callender to publish it
General Jackson’s mother was a common prostitute, brought to this country by the British soldiers! She afterwards married a mulatto man, with whom she had several children, of which number General Jackson is one!
-The Cincinnati Gazette 1828 on General Jackson
To be turned out by the Pimp of the White House
-Congressman Kenneth Rayner on President Franklin Pierce
Bastard Brat of a Scotch Peddler
-John Adams on Alexander Hamilton
Hatchet-Faced Nutmeg Dealer
-Stephen Douglas on Abraham Lincoln
Ersatz
is a product or creation made or used as a stand in substitute, typically inferior, for something else. Tiki Drinks, Non-dairy Creamer, Bouillon Cubes, & War Sausage.
The second half of a man’s life is made up of nothing but the habits he has acquired during the first half
-Fyodor Dostoevsky
The proper function of man is to live, not to exist. I shall not waste my days in trying to prolong them. I shall use my time.
-Ian Fleming
